Post by Steve on Nov 7, 2010 21:08:10 GMT -5
Authors Note: As an additional exercise for this segment, see if you can figure out which hands were actually played by Phil and which I’ve made up. I’ll give you one hint; the hands played the absolute worst are the ones by Phil, because I simply don’t have the imaginative ability to come up with hands that awful.
Greetings fellow tournament players, it is I, the worlds greatest tournament player, Phil Hellmuth Jr. Normally I would never dispense with strategy advice for free, and the majority of my skilled analysis can be found in my enormously successful book ‘Play Poker Like the Pros’. However, it’s come to my attention that I’ve been taking a lot of flack on the forums by all these stupid internet kids who think they know something about tournaments, so I’ve come to show them all up and educate the imbecile masses. Allow me to walk you through some hands and show you how a true master of the game would play them!
Hand 1: It’s the 50/100 level in the 10k Euro Main Event in Monte Carlo. The villain in the hand is some stupid internet punk. I hold TT UTG+1. We both have around 20k.
Preflop: UTG folds, I raise to 300, it folds to the button who calls, the blinds fold.
Analysis: This seems pretty standard, though I think TT is the at the bottom of my open raising range here. My normal raising range here is JJ/QQ and AK. I would OF COURSE limp KK and AA.
Flop: Tc 9c 3h, I check, the button bets 600, I call.
Analysis: Haha! We’ve flopped the absolute nuts. That means we of course need to start slowplaying, don’t want to scare our opponent off his hand here and we certainly don’t want to build a big pot, since I might not have the nuts on future streets. I check and the button bets 600, calling is of course best here.
Turn: 4d, I check, the button bets 1000, I call.
Analysis: That’s a nice safe turn card. I check again and the button bets 1000. I of course just call again, I’ve got this kid right where I want him. I just know he’s gonna bluff his whole stack off to me on the river, so we certainly don’t want to raise now!
River: Kc, I lead out 600, the kid raises to 3600, I call. He shows me AcQc.
Analysis: Once the river comes it’s time to take this kid to value town! I lead out 600, a good looking 1/6th pot bet. Now the kid has the gall to raise me! Well, since the flush draw got there as well as the straight draw we had better call since stupid internet kids love to bluff on the river when all the draws get there. I call and he shows me the nut flush. DAMN IT! I had that stupid internet kid right where I wanted him, he was gonna bluff off his WHOLE stack to me on the river if he didn’t suck out like the stupid donkey he is! It’s obvious that I played this whole hand perfectly, I just got really really unlucky on the river.
Hand 2: It’s the 300/600 level in the 10k WPT Main Event at Foxwoods. I’ve gotten my 20,000 starting stack up to about 65,000 crushing all these stupid morons. My opponent in the hand is tournament poker legend TJ Cloutier, who has managed to drag his sorry, degenerate, 200% selling ass off the craps table to play in the tournament. TJ is sitting with about 50,000. I hold AKo UTG+2.
Preflop: It folds to me and I raise to 1800. It folds to TJ in the BB who call.
Analysis: I think preflop is pretty standard here. I’ve got AK so I raise, though it’s important to keep in mind THAT ACE KING IS A DRAWING HAND PEOPLE. When TJ calls out of the BB I know he’s got a big hand, because TJ is a tight player and he’s defending his BB against the worlds best tournament player. I am cautious going to the flop.
Flop: Ah Kc 9d, TJ checks and I bet 2000. TJ calls.
Analysis: I flop okay, though to be honest I’m Phil Hellmuth Jr. so I’m used to flopping a little better than that. I bet 2000 for value, hoping if TJ has made a loose call with A9 I can get some value here, though I imagine he’ll quickly fold AQ. TJ flat calls me, which shows me an enormous amount of strength.
Turn: Kd, TJ checks and I check behind.
Analysis: This is a pretty good turn card for me since it means TJ can’t have KK. I’m pretty sure TJ will check fold everything but AA here, so I check behind for pot control. This seems very obvious to me.
River: 2c, TJ checks, I bet 1000 and TJ calls. I show my AK and TJ mucks.
Analysis: I think this is a pretty risky value bet on the end, so I bet really small so if TJ check raised I could fold. I know the only way TJ raises me is if he has his most likely hand, AA. I’m betting to get value against his next most likely hand 99, which to be honest is a pretty loose pre flop call when you’re playing against the best no limit tournament player in the world. TJ calls and mucks when he sees my kings full, I guess he needs to learn how to play nines like the master!
Hand 3: It’s down to the final 10 players in WSOP 2007 Event 28, and I’m going for my 12th, count em, 12th bracelet! I’m so fucking important they’ve actually taken the event they were supposed to broadcast, the $2,500 6 handed event, and instead filmed the one featuring yours truly. Sucks to be you Terrence ‘not Johnny’ Chan! The table is a mixture of stupid internet punks and the regular live morons I beat up on the regular, plus a classy looking broad who likes to announce her hand while there’s still action, Beth Shak. I start the hand with about 135k at the 10k/20k level. I hold K6o on the cut off.
Preflop: It folds to me and I raise to 50,000, since I know all these stupid idiots are concerned with making the final table they’re sure to fold to me. It folds to the BB whose some stupid young guy, and he moves all in! ON ME! THE GREATEST NO LIMIT TOURNAMENT PLAYER OF ALL TIME! After thinking it over for a while, I fold.
Analysis: When it folds to me I’m in late position with a face card against a bunch of morons who want nothing more than to get as much face time on ESPN as possible, so of course I raise! However, when the BB shows the enormous strength of going all in at this point in the tournament, over me, Phil Hellmuth Jr. I know he has to be strong. Since I know my hand is behind and ‘pot odds’ are only for those stupid internet geeks, I make what is a very standard fold. What makes this fold even more obvious, is that I of course get aces the very next hand! That’s why you fold people! There’s the rest of the world, and then there’s me! Oh, and make sure when you get AA in that spot with less than 4 big blinds left to go ahead and min raise, those stupid donks will never see it coming!
Hand 4: It’s the LAPC Main Event in 2007. We’re at the final table and I’ve got the chip lead. Phil Ivey is here too, and he’s almost as good as I am, so I need to be careful with him. I hold QcTc on the button, the blinds are 30,000/60,000 with a 10,000 ante.
Preflop: It folds to me on the button and I raise to 250,000, a nice big 4X raise. The SB folds and the BB shoves for 840,000 total. I think it over and fold.
Analysis: I know I’m behind because the BB has reraised, therefore I fold. This is so obvious people!
Hand 5: It’s the WSOP ME in 2005 on Day 1. I hold KdJd at 150/300 and I’ve improved my starting stack to 25,000 on the hijack. The button has about 18,000 in chips, I’ve never seen him before.
Preflop: It folds to me on the hijack and I raise it up to 1,000. The CO folds and the button calls, the blinds both fold.
Analysis: My raise is of course a little loose pre, but since everyone behind me is a bunch of nobody morons, I think it’s profitable for me to go ahead and raise here. I get flat called by the button, who could have any number of hands. I’ll wait to see how he reacts to the flop and read his soul so I can know what he has.
Flop: 3c Td Qd, I bet 2000, and my opponent raises to 5,000. I think it over and fold.
Analysis: A lot of people think just because I’ve flopped a big draw I should be getting a lot of chips in here, but let me tell you the truth; my draw is only going to hit like, um, some of the time! Not enough to be risking my tournament life by going all in or anything crazy like that! This is day 1 of the World Series Main Event we’re talking about here! You don’t go deep in tournaments taking big gambles with just a draw! This is a very easy fold, and I bet big on the flop hoping my opponent would fold first. Unfortunately he raised instead, so you have to give up the hand here.
Alright then, that’s all the knowledge I have to impart on you stoned, mongoloid internet retards for now! Perhaps armed with knowledge like this you might actually have a chance of not losing your whole stack in the first hand you play against the WORLDS GREATEST NO LIMIT TOURNAMENT PLAYER!
Greetings fellow tournament players, it is I, the worlds greatest tournament player, Phil Hellmuth Jr. Normally I would never dispense with strategy advice for free, and the majority of my skilled analysis can be found in my enormously successful book ‘Play Poker Like the Pros’. However, it’s come to my attention that I’ve been taking a lot of flack on the forums by all these stupid internet kids who think they know something about tournaments, so I’ve come to show them all up and educate the imbecile masses. Allow me to walk you through some hands and show you how a true master of the game would play them!
Hand 1: It’s the 50/100 level in the 10k Euro Main Event in Monte Carlo. The villain in the hand is some stupid internet punk. I hold TT UTG+1. We both have around 20k.
Preflop: UTG folds, I raise to 300, it folds to the button who calls, the blinds fold.
Analysis: This seems pretty standard, though I think TT is the at the bottom of my open raising range here. My normal raising range here is JJ/QQ and AK. I would OF COURSE limp KK and AA.
Flop: Tc 9c 3h, I check, the button bets 600, I call.
Analysis: Haha! We’ve flopped the absolute nuts. That means we of course need to start slowplaying, don’t want to scare our opponent off his hand here and we certainly don’t want to build a big pot, since I might not have the nuts on future streets. I check and the button bets 600, calling is of course best here.
Turn: 4d, I check, the button bets 1000, I call.
Analysis: That’s a nice safe turn card. I check again and the button bets 1000. I of course just call again, I’ve got this kid right where I want him. I just know he’s gonna bluff his whole stack off to me on the river, so we certainly don’t want to raise now!
River: Kc, I lead out 600, the kid raises to 3600, I call. He shows me AcQc.
Analysis: Once the river comes it’s time to take this kid to value town! I lead out 600, a good looking 1/6th pot bet. Now the kid has the gall to raise me! Well, since the flush draw got there as well as the straight draw we had better call since stupid internet kids love to bluff on the river when all the draws get there. I call and he shows me the nut flush. DAMN IT! I had that stupid internet kid right where I wanted him, he was gonna bluff off his WHOLE stack to me on the river if he didn’t suck out like the stupid donkey he is! It’s obvious that I played this whole hand perfectly, I just got really really unlucky on the river.
Hand 2: It’s the 300/600 level in the 10k WPT Main Event at Foxwoods. I’ve gotten my 20,000 starting stack up to about 65,000 crushing all these stupid morons. My opponent in the hand is tournament poker legend TJ Cloutier, who has managed to drag his sorry, degenerate, 200% selling ass off the craps table to play in the tournament. TJ is sitting with about 50,000. I hold AKo UTG+2.
Preflop: It folds to me and I raise to 1800. It folds to TJ in the BB who call.
Analysis: I think preflop is pretty standard here. I’ve got AK so I raise, though it’s important to keep in mind THAT ACE KING IS A DRAWING HAND PEOPLE. When TJ calls out of the BB I know he’s got a big hand, because TJ is a tight player and he’s defending his BB against the worlds best tournament player. I am cautious going to the flop.
Flop: Ah Kc 9d, TJ checks and I bet 2000. TJ calls.
Analysis: I flop okay, though to be honest I’m Phil Hellmuth Jr. so I’m used to flopping a little better than that. I bet 2000 for value, hoping if TJ has made a loose call with A9 I can get some value here, though I imagine he’ll quickly fold AQ. TJ flat calls me, which shows me an enormous amount of strength.
Turn: Kd, TJ checks and I check behind.
Analysis: This is a pretty good turn card for me since it means TJ can’t have KK. I’m pretty sure TJ will check fold everything but AA here, so I check behind for pot control. This seems very obvious to me.
River: 2c, TJ checks, I bet 1000 and TJ calls. I show my AK and TJ mucks.
Analysis: I think this is a pretty risky value bet on the end, so I bet really small so if TJ check raised I could fold. I know the only way TJ raises me is if he has his most likely hand, AA. I’m betting to get value against his next most likely hand 99, which to be honest is a pretty loose pre flop call when you’re playing against the best no limit tournament player in the world. TJ calls and mucks when he sees my kings full, I guess he needs to learn how to play nines like the master!
Hand 3: It’s down to the final 10 players in WSOP 2007 Event 28, and I’m going for my 12th, count em, 12th bracelet! I’m so fucking important they’ve actually taken the event they were supposed to broadcast, the $2,500 6 handed event, and instead filmed the one featuring yours truly. Sucks to be you Terrence ‘not Johnny’ Chan! The table is a mixture of stupid internet punks and the regular live morons I beat up on the regular, plus a classy looking broad who likes to announce her hand while there’s still action, Beth Shak. I start the hand with about 135k at the 10k/20k level. I hold K6o on the cut off.
Preflop: It folds to me and I raise to 50,000, since I know all these stupid idiots are concerned with making the final table they’re sure to fold to me. It folds to the BB whose some stupid young guy, and he moves all in! ON ME! THE GREATEST NO LIMIT TOURNAMENT PLAYER OF ALL TIME! After thinking it over for a while, I fold.
Analysis: When it folds to me I’m in late position with a face card against a bunch of morons who want nothing more than to get as much face time on ESPN as possible, so of course I raise! However, when the BB shows the enormous strength of going all in at this point in the tournament, over me, Phil Hellmuth Jr. I know he has to be strong. Since I know my hand is behind and ‘pot odds’ are only for those stupid internet geeks, I make what is a very standard fold. What makes this fold even more obvious, is that I of course get aces the very next hand! That’s why you fold people! There’s the rest of the world, and then there’s me! Oh, and make sure when you get AA in that spot with less than 4 big blinds left to go ahead and min raise, those stupid donks will never see it coming!
Hand 4: It’s the LAPC Main Event in 2007. We’re at the final table and I’ve got the chip lead. Phil Ivey is here too, and he’s almost as good as I am, so I need to be careful with him. I hold QcTc on the button, the blinds are 30,000/60,000 with a 10,000 ante.
Preflop: It folds to me on the button and I raise to 250,000, a nice big 4X raise. The SB folds and the BB shoves for 840,000 total. I think it over and fold.
Analysis: I know I’m behind because the BB has reraised, therefore I fold. This is so obvious people!
Hand 5: It’s the WSOP ME in 2005 on Day 1. I hold KdJd at 150/300 and I’ve improved my starting stack to 25,000 on the hijack. The button has about 18,000 in chips, I’ve never seen him before.
Preflop: It folds to me on the hijack and I raise it up to 1,000. The CO folds and the button calls, the blinds both fold.
Analysis: My raise is of course a little loose pre, but since everyone behind me is a bunch of nobody morons, I think it’s profitable for me to go ahead and raise here. I get flat called by the button, who could have any number of hands. I’ll wait to see how he reacts to the flop and read his soul so I can know what he has.
Flop: 3c Td Qd, I bet 2000, and my opponent raises to 5,000. I think it over and fold.
Analysis: A lot of people think just because I’ve flopped a big draw I should be getting a lot of chips in here, but let me tell you the truth; my draw is only going to hit like, um, some of the time! Not enough to be risking my tournament life by going all in or anything crazy like that! This is day 1 of the World Series Main Event we’re talking about here! You don’t go deep in tournaments taking big gambles with just a draw! This is a very easy fold, and I bet big on the flop hoping my opponent would fold first. Unfortunately he raised instead, so you have to give up the hand here.
Alright then, that’s all the knowledge I have to impart on you stoned, mongoloid internet retards for now! Perhaps armed with knowledge like this you might actually have a chance of not losing your whole stack in the first hand you play against the WORLDS GREATEST NO LIMIT TOURNAMENT PLAYER!